I went to the movies…
I am so frustrated tonight. I am literally grinding my teeth and have been fighting off a migraine for 4 days. I hope I can convey why I am frustrated but have a feeling this will be extremely difficult.
Sunday night I went to the movies and when we arrived my group of friends were ordering/eating/indulging in many snacks from overly salted& buttered popcorn to peanut butter & chocolate candy…to cold red and blue frozen slushies and when I looked at the snacks/drinks I realized that my only option was a bottled water. This event was the straw that broke this camel’s back! I realized that my willpower has been extremely tested and dang near used up because it has been 3 grueling months of saying no. Halloween, Thanksgiving, my birthday, Christmas, New Years, client gifts, holiday parties. I need to hit the reset button.
I explained to my entire family whom came in town for all holidays that I am truly watching what I eat and asked if we could have a healthier version of foods for the Holidays to where there was a major revolt. It almost felt as though sweet snacks, pies, candies, cookies were deliberately brought into MY home and left out for me to be tempted. No one would ever admit that was the case however my wishes were not honored at the slightest. I successfully made it through the holiday season, everyone went home and although I did not lose any weight for 3 MONTHS I didn’t gain a single ounce. I take zero weight gain during a 12 day tropical vacation with unlimited food and beverage choices along with the stresses of the holiday season a serious win without weight gain!
I don’t know exactly why but the movie I went to see with friends triggered me in a very negative way. I believe it was the content of the movie that hit too close to home. Every since I saw that movie I have wanted to continuously snack on crunchy/salty high calorie items to calm my nerves- mostly BBQ Pork rinds & cashews. All that snacking is HORRIBLE. Nuts have carbs and A LOT of calories. The bbq pork rinds I eat are loaded with sodium. I also bought and consumed a 2 liter of diet soda- Also not good.
Yesterday I cold Turkey cleaned my diet up. Cashews and diet soda were out. I logged my calories and macros keeping an eye on my consumption. Ofcourse I awakened with a massive headache from the withdrawals of the extra carbs and the decrease of calories. There isn’t a moral to this story, it is just an explanation of a personal battle I wanted to share.